My voice is in sound, oil painting, and drawing, in slow repetitions. An example: the vinyl record or tall formation of jeans-clad butt-and-legs seen from the back came up in my drawings in 2009 and I modified and shifted them over the course of five years until their shell, the language holding them together, broke. The vinyl became a puddle and then only shape. I stripped the butt and legs from any gaze. Repetition means to detoxify a thing's (word, image, sound, gesture) surroundings and to accept the thing's temporary truth. Then I can talk.
A performance is a compressed moment of narrations coming together through spoken word, music and guitar noise. References have been self care, anxiety, astrology, love, a viral tweet from 2017, the online discourse about whether Jurassic World is a 'feminist movie', and Dutch colonialism, which is fused with my family history. Anything I can ask myself, mumbling or out loud, can find its way into 20-30 minutes of me occupying a moment in space and time, describing the fluidity and spectrality of various networks.
Both in painting / drawing as in performances I'm interested in how the body is a sensual conduit for both projecting and escaping 'identity', and the many ways in which hierarchies manifest through physical presence. Clothing, especially as protection, means a lot to me. We cloak our bodies in order to not be seen, or be seen via a coded system that our clothes adhere to. I try to render the clothes (surfing jacket, V-neck pullover, jeans) in my painting / drawing un-sexualized and de-gendered, divorced from established categorical attributes. I want to recognize the connection between whiteness and the colonized body, and subvert the hierarchies that keep this body/these bodies oppressed.